My Story

It’s my mission to bring breathwork to as many people as possible, with a particular focus on helping men.

Why focus on men predominantly?

I grew up in the era that said “men were MEN”, and “boys don’t cry”.

As someone who was sensitive and gentle by nature, my inner dialogue was at odds with what society deemed a “real man” to be.

This left me feeling inadequate – like I wasn’t man enough, tough enough, strong enough.

It carved out deeply ingrained beliefs that I was simply not good enough, and the associated low self-worth and fear that came with that were the shaky foundations my life was built on.

Maintaining the facade of toughness and stifling my sensitivity worked for a while, over the years the toll of it all led me to numbing my emotions with junk food and alcohol, which eventually led to the worst physical fitness of my life, and near death through alcoholism.

Despite this, to the outside observer it might have looked like I had the perfect life – I always seemed so bubbly and happy, but inside I was in despair, and that bubbliness was learned extraversion.

I originally got sober on October 4th 2021, and in the time since, through working the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, attending all manner of therapy sessions and doing a lot of deep, painful inner work, I’m in a much better place.

A place where I feel ready to take some of the things I’ve learned and help others.

The liberation of rock bottom…

As I entered the last weekend of my drinking, I was so confused, baffled, tired and sadness that I decided I was going to just drink until I couldn’t drink no more and whatever happened, happened.

I somehow emerged from a weekend.

Whilst I got sober in October 2021, a one day, four drink slip up in the depths of an emotionally turbulent time in November 2024 ended that streak.

The experience that went before wasn’t lost though, and while I’d never recommend relapse as a means to strength your sobriety, I’m pleased to say mine did, by the grace of my higher power and the support of loved ones, friends and AA.

So where did Breathwork come in?

Breathwork was something I was introduced to over a year ago, and was initially used in a healing context at a beautiful retreat in the Netherlands, prompted by a difficult relationship breakup.

I wasn’t expecting much, but a 45 minute “journey” brought up memories and emotions from childhood that I had consciously forgotten but were directing my life and in particular my self-destructive behaviours many decades later.

Breathwork was a truly transformative experience, and has now become a non-negotiable part of managing my emotional wellbeing.

I don’t have all the answers, am still very much a work in progress, but what I do have is a deep understanding as to what it’s like to feel lost, to not know my place in this world and to be shackled by low confidence and low self-esteem.

Enter ADHD…

Or rather, “Hello ADHD” – as you’ve been with me all along, I just didn’t know it.

I’ve also recently been diagnosed with ADHD, which was liberating, in that I finally understood why I did some of the things I did, while also evoking grief and regret as I mourned the life I could have had if I’d known earlier.

I now embrace it though, and in a way it gave me something that for so many years was elusive, even though it had been slowly crystallising inside me through the steps, the Breathwork and the inner work I’d been doing – it gave me permission to be kinder to myself.